The Pizza was Aggressive
by DatRandomGuy
Summary: How far will Jimmy go for a pizza? During a midlife crisis, Jimmy orders some pizza from Creepy Pakistani Guy Pizza Parlor, but when Osama Bin Laden brings an especially aggressive pizza, tides take a turn for the worse. Based on the viral video "Jimmy Neutron Happy Family Happy Hour." Jimbros united!


**The Pizza was Aggressive**

**Summary**

How far will Jimmy go for a pizza? During a midlife crisis, Jimmy orders some pizza from Creepy Pakistani Guy Pizza Parlor, but when Osama Bin Laden brings an especially aggressive pizza, tides take a turn for the worse. Based on the viral video "Jimmy Neutron Happy Family Happy Hour." Jimbros united!

**A/N. Why hello, it is I, Jimbles Notronbo.**

"Damn it, dumb wife. Why the hell are you always so annoying?"

"I will not cook you a pizza!"

"Dumb b****! Learn how to be a real woman!"

"I am a real wo—"

"Don't care because you're not. Now listen here—"

"Will you stop interrupting me? Let me prove that I am a real woman." My mom promptly revealed something strange and inappropriate to mention. According to my dad, she was still a disappointingly worthless wife because she never cooked pizza when he desired some extra-tasty father-son bonding with me.

I usually never take part in their quarreling, but an extra-sticky situation like this needed an exception. Jimbles Notronbo to the rescue!

I jump in between my crazy parents. "Let's all stop and just admire the true value of being part of the wonderful Notronbo family."

My mom did not like it. "NO! Not until your father stops being a stubborn, sexist pig and acknowledges my parts!" Oh dear god of the heavens above, I almost fainted from disgust. My dad had an equally horrified reaction.

"I—I can't take this anymore. . ." my dad gasped between breathes. He had trouble breathing at times of extreme annoyance. "I need. . ."

"Yes?" voiced my mom, faking the caring attitude of most mothers.

"I need. . ."

"Spit it out!" I asked, being the perfectly obedient child.

"A shotgun. . .because this bitch is crazy!" And with that, my dad grabbed a shotgun from the deep loins of his lower body and shot my mom with an irresistible lust for her blood. "Problem solved!" I high-fived my dad, happy that we would no longer have to put up with any crap.

"Jimmy, go order some pizza."

Being an obedient child, I went to pick up the phone. The sooner I ordered the pizza, the faster we could get down to father-son bonding time. I called the local pizza place, typing several numbers, (911)420-6969, into the phone.

"Hail Allah! Hello?" The usual receptionist picked up.

"Hi, one large sausage pizza for the Notronbo household."

"Would you like to try today's special, the 8-inch sausage pizza? I guarantee it will satisfy both you and your caring father," the receptionist said in his typical Pakistani accent. I loved eating Creepy Pakistani Guy's Pizza, but if I had to choose a favorite item from the restaurant's menu, it would have to be the giant sausage pizza.

"Would you be willing to give me a larger sausage than normal, sir?" I asked politely. _I suppose that if I am nice about it, I can get the longest sausage possible out of this Pakistani man,_ I thought to myself. My craving for pizza and not to mention some father-son bonding time was desperate to be satisfied. I dreamed of a pizza with sausage that was as big as my father's nose but quickly scratched away the thought, reminding myself not to get my hopes up.

"Well, the rule is that I can make it as large as your father's nose, because that is how we work here at Creepy Pakistani Guy's Pizza!" Yes! I absolutely, fully, and passionately love my father's nose, especially during father-son bonding time.

"Okay, I'll take one large pizza with a 14-inch sausage, the size of my dad's nose."

"Okay, we'll be there before you can say 'Hail Allah' 12 times in a row." Score! My all-time largest Creepy Pakistani Guy sausage pizza!

My father and I promptly got down to our free time. Every time the Notronbo household got a pizza, we would take part in the family tradition of father-son bonding. My dad approached me from behind. "Jimmy, time for some father-son bonding! What would you like to get down to today?"

"Well daddy, I sure have a craving for some long nose."

"I see, the usual." My dad approached me with his huge, delicious nose, an experienced confidence in his step, and we promptly got down to it.

Later, as we finished up, the doorbell rang. I promptly stopped moaning and answered the door.

It was the pizza man. "Hail Allah! Here is your pizza," he proclaimed.

Suddenly, the pizza flew around the room, posing as a dangerous hazard to our household, normally a place of peaceful sanctuary and safety.

"The pizza was aggressive!" I screamed, warning my father. My eyes bulged completely put of my eye sockets.

It was the most epic moment of my life. Time slowed to a crawl, as the pizza continued straight toward my father's neck. Epic cello music, like the kind that plays in a crazy man's head, played loudly throughout the house, and swear I heard "I am Osama Bin Laden" coming from the pizza man, if I was not mistaken.

The situation had become a complete pizza massacre and I had to protect my father. "Dodge!" I yelled as random gunshots missed me mid-triple backflip for cool effect. Where had they come from? At least the shots made me look cool as I ran to protect my beloved father who had bonded with me so much. I landed and Osama pulled out his four machine guns.

"In the name of Allah!" he screamed, running at the speed of light at the pizza. It dodged him and I attempted a tackle on the pizza but was too late.

The SWAT team walked in the door, armed with high-tech squirt guns and whoopee cushions. "The pizza was agressive!" I screamed out for the second time. Time was a crawl, as the pizza sliced off all their heads. One by one, the maniac pizza killed SWAT team members.

Then it headed for Osama. "No! Allah, save me!" he screamed, but his prayers were of no avail. It cut off his head. I would never be able to eat Creepy Pakistani Guy's Pizza ever again. One lone tear dropped from my eye.

On the bright side, my dad's head was impaled by the pizza, flying right into my hands. Mmm, I mumbled at his scrumptious nose, savoring the touch of his long member.

As soon as the epic cello song came to a tragic halt, however, my fate was confirmed as well. Apparently the god of small children and scientific geniuses did not favor me, for I died too.

I arrived in Heaven. the first thing I noticed was that God the Father was there, seated between his son, Christ, and the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit stared into my soul. The father spoke up. "Jimmy, I am the god of small children and the god of scientific geniuses. Death has claimed you, but your afterlife will be favorable, filled with tranquil pizzas, strange science things, and giant noses. You have earned you way to this point."

He pointed me down a hall. Floating, just as I always did back on earth, I headed down the hallway. I just caught a bit of God saying, "Jesus, it is time for some father-son bonding." I would like this place.

**A/N. Why hello, it is I, Jimbles Notronbo! I hope you enjoyed my autobiography! Check out my video on Youtube by searching "Jimmy Neutron Happy Family Happy Hour."**


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